|Seventeen. Dancing Queen.|
What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
I find the word forgiveness to be very interesting. The reason why I preface this story with this is because, most of the time, people associate the word forgiveness with something that has happen against you, or to you. My story is actually about something that happen around me. Yeah, it happened, and I didn't get to control anything about the situation, and although it didn't happen directly to me, it is still something I had to forgive.
My parents got divorced when I was 17. This is the hardest thing, so far, that I have had to learn to forgive. It didn't happen over night either, in fact, I would say I am still working on it, 13 years later. As the oldest, of four, I really thought that I wouldn't suffer repercussions to it, or at least they would be so severe. I was very wrong. I had experienced my parents together the longest, and suddenly realized I had the most to lose.
Most people, these days, have divorced parents. In fact, I think it is so common that people don't really stop and give it a second glance. To me, this was the end of my world and it was happening at a time where my life was just supposed to be beginning. I was a senior in high school and graduation was just a few short months away. I know now that my response to my parents marriage ending was a bit of a selfish one. I don't think people should stay together, just because they have children. If a relationship is not built on trust and love, then it is not benefiting anyone. Once those two things are gone, is there a reason to keep fighting for the relationship?
I soon realized that I wouldn't have a wedding where my parents were together. I would be able to return home to my house during holidays and share that with my parents. My family was now split. Seperate houses, seperate lives, seperate everything and that was what hurt the most.
As an adult, though, I see it slightly differently. I also see it through the eyes of forgiveness. Yes, sometimes holidays are kind of a nightmare. (We do a lot of driving) However, we get to celebrate everything a lot. Plus it opened the door for new traditions! Also my siblings and I have had the chance to form deep relationships based simply on the fact that we had to be there for each other. I don't know if that would be the same if my parent were still together, but I like to think that it made us appreciate each other more.
How do you view forgiveness? To you think it is something that forces you to constantly keep working towards it, or something that comes easily to you?